I arrived at the Transfiguration of Christ Parish in Antipolo City on August 26, 2009. It was after a year of formation on spirituality in Florence, Italy. Before that, I had a beautiful four and a half year pastoral experience as parish priest at the Parish of the Immaculate Heart of Mary near Hinulugang Taktak (also in Antipolo).
When the bishop appointed me to the new parish, I had mixed emotions - of joy & excitement (with the trust given to me to handle the relatively big community and over the new adventure I will plunge myself into) and of fear & anxiety (because I was entrusted of constructing a church and getting to know new people, an experience I am not so comfortable with). But in the midst of these emotions, I plunged myself into the experience. I entrusted everything to God, whom I know, in His love and mercy, will give me the strength to go beyond any feeling of inadequacy and unworthiness.
Six years and three months have passed. I was able to meet the community and journey with them in many various ways. We went through many hardships of getting to know and accept one another. We experienced a number of mistakes and failures. I got irritated, angry and indifferent at various stages with people and programs. They came to be frustrated with me at who I was and my style of handling things. Yes, these were all true! But at the same time, relationships were also built. There came a blossoming of new perspectives and ideas. We can never claim to have perfected things, but we got to understand how things were and what it will be - in the midst of our shortcomings.
So great were the experiences that I became overwhelmed by what were going on and how things were moving. I could only see with gratitude the hand of a loving God at work in this community of ours!
I will be leaving Transfi for a new assignment. I could not help but be sad . . . really sad and heavy with emotions. The separation anxiety is just too great to handle. But I know that this experience will all make sense according to the wisdom of God. I have also realized that there will be mixed reactions to my departure. I feel the heaviness when people, even those whom I don't know well, bid me goodbye with tears in their eyes and tell me how, in various ways, I have touched their lives. I have never felt so appreciated and affirmed until now with the countless words of gratitude being given to me. These makes things more difficult for me. But at the same time, I also need to say my apologies to the people whom I have hurt and pained a lot. There will be those who might be freed from the heavy burden of my presence. I would like to say sorry to all of them. I never intended to offend or hurt. Perhaps in my desire to keep things well and in order, I forgot to see the reality that people are different and varied. Let God's mercy be upon my mistakes.
But in all of these, I find the joy of having been a co-journeyer to the community of Transfi! This is a community so great and so full of life, indeed! Thus, I find it difficult to part ways with the parish community.
What has Transfi done to me as a priest and as person?
Transfi became a healer to me. People never forgot to take care of me in many various ways (in reminding me about taking care of my health, telling me to religiously take my medicines, take my BP and look at my blood sugar level, accompanying me to the doctors, visit me at the hospital and at the convent when I was sick, and so many other moments). In my many moments of sickness, whether physical or emotional, each one came to me as a healer. And it made me go through the days at the parish a bit healthier and feeling better! That was consolation for me.
Transfi became my teacher. I can always proudly claim that I have studied and finished theology, became very good at it and have taught many people. I can also boast of having gone through more years of pastoral experience than anyone else in the parish could claim. But the life and experiences of the people taught me to see things in newer perspectives. I was constantly humbled not only of the struggles in faith but also of the great and beautiful witnessing of so many parishioners I was confronted with day by day. I even felt I could not and will never be able to measure up to the depth and commitment that many church workers at Transfi lived! Thanks to them, I think I will be graduating from my experience at this parish with honors . . . for they have been the biggest teachers of my life!
Transfi became my family for these past years. Each one was a mother, father, brother and sister to me. They formed me like a child needing some learnings in life. They accepted me - even in my most difficult mood swings. They scolded me, especially when I was wrong. They reminded me that I needed to smile and let go of negative vibes. They nagged me like my mother does. They came into arguments with me when I became too stubborn with things. They comforted me when I was down and out. They embraced me when I felt so alone. And I never felt so much at home during the many times they made me feel the warmth of their love at many various moments of my life! I don't think it is an overstatement when I say, Transfi did not only become my family, for it was my home!
I don't like to be overly sentimental. I am not such kind of person. But if I was led to these many wonderful experiences of love and family, who would not be affected deeply by the experience of parting ways? Perhaps the heart will really hurt and feel a great pain when it lets go of even one heartbeat that says, "we have lived this together in mercy, in communion, and in love!"
To my Transfi family, I bid you farewell. Thank you for all the memories I will remember so well - for it has taught me so much and formed me to become a better shepherd to God's flock. Thank you for taking good care of me and letting me feel that I am a friend, a brother, a son, and a father to you in different moments and instances of your life. Thank you for understanding me in good times and in bad times, and making me realize that I can do better as a person with the community at my side. Thank you for assuring me always that I can count on your goodness and your generosity, especially as you pray for me. Thank you for the friendship that was started, the family that was built, and the home which we tried to create. All of these will I keep as one of the greatest treasures of my life!
I will continue to serve God because of each one of you. You all have given me the honor of becoming a priest serving a community named as Transfi . . . MY TRANSFI!
I will always proudly say, "taga-Transfi ako . . . taos, lubos, at para sa Diyos!" God bless you!
