LIKE ME, PLEASE!

A lot of people see me as one who is stern, serious, stubborn and "senile."  It is an impression that has stuck to their minds, perhaps even well impressed on them.  I might not want to be deeply imbedded on these impressions, but it is there already.  It has become a norm because of a number of unfortunate experiences people had with me.  But more unfortunate are the mindsets that have been formed in the minds of people who has not even had a sad experience with me (bad impressions formed because of what they have heard from others).

No matter how I would like others to veer away from unlikely "evil" thoughts about me, I could not remove that already as there are really some truths about what they see and hear.  I even don't know whether I will feel happy when someone tells me, "Oh, you are smiling!  What happened?" or "You have a bright face today..."  Why, has it been the most normal thing to see me blank-faced, frowning or downcast?  Perhaps I need to have a deep soul-searching.

I am not writing this to defend myself.  No, that is not my intention.  I even think that I need to have an honest-to-goodness examination of conscience.  I don't want to have people think that I  was brought up like this (that would be unfair to my family) or that  I have always been like this (as if I did not learn anything from my journey through life).  I all reality, I would like my life to be as pleasant to me and to others as much as possible.  IO know it would be unfair to live a life with the thought I have destroyed the meaning of why I am here and have not made a good difference whenever I am in front of others.

Honestly, I desire to live a happy life.  I am now middle-aged, but look at that recent photo of me above holding a stuff-toy tiger.  Some might even be wondering, "Well, behold, he IS SMILING!"  Guys, sorry to disappoint you!  I can still smile and play around!  But I think you got to help me with this.  Sure I would love to see the beauty and joy of the world.  I am no scrooge - that is for sure! And I don't want to always feel miserable.  I will still have my moments of fun and laughter...especially with all the good things this world has to offer.  Be patient with me.  I am still a work in progress as all of us are.  Happy are you who will see the best side of me.  This is not something rare.  Many people have made this their experience!

Many people liked the photo above!  They saw me fooling around!  Again, that is not a rare photo.  It's one of the many moments when I can make fun of myself and act like a child.  These priest-friends continue to help me realize the child that is in me and how fun-loving I can still be!

Please understand the things I go through.  I actually don't like all the seriousness that people see in me.  I can really be stern at times, but not always.  I reality, I can be a "fool" - with my foolishness and playfulness all round up as one.  I can be funny - with all my "corny" stories and other stuff I tell others.  I can be strange, but not in a mysterious way, but by doing things people did not even expect me of doing.

Think differently of me.  Those who have come to know me found a different side of me.  Bear with me.  I am still human.  I can still bring pain and hurt others.  But it is not something intentionally done.  I am perhaps just downed by my weaknesses and limitations.

But let me tell you (and you can be assured of this), discover (or rediscover) me...we'll have fun, together!