Stillness...

Recently, the clergy of our diocese went for the annual fellowship.  One of the stops was in beautiful Caramoan where we went to Tugawe Cove.  Going there, we were told that it was to be a good two hour boat ride.  Fine, I thought to myself.  It would be a good occasion for us priests to jam together and tell stories and jokes to one another.  Besides, the sea travel would be a diversion to the travels I've been confronted with in the concrete jungle of Metro Manila.  

As we started the journey, I realized that it would be such a welcome respit.  In fact, the two hour journey we were told of became a more than three hour travel to a place I never thought of reaching with the sun still up!  It seemed never-ending.  With the small pump-boat we were in, as we moved against the current of not-really-small-waves, I could not even dream of a sweet, pleasant and peaceful place that was supposed to be the end place of our journey.  At every cove that we I saw, I would say maybe this is it.  But we went on and on and on and on...  Keeping in mind the many photos of Tugawe Cove I saw in the internet, I was asking myself why in the first place did I recommend this trip!  The tiresome trip was not worth it even with the grand photos of the place.  

Things were becoming turbulent inside me.  It was more than the physical experience.  There was  a roughness in spirit.  Many realities that did not fit in the model of how I would things to be provoked an intensity that brought about a lost of tranquility, of calm, of stillness.  As time went by, and the longer the boat ride took, impatience grew, hunger went crushing me, and the stoic and stress-filled reactions of my companions added to the heavy heart I was experiencing.  "God, make our boat reach our destination soon!"  This I was shouting deep inside, "my patience is running low!"

Rough seas, a very long journey, tired people, and a very disgruntled soul equates to a violence that will never approximate any form nor tinge of stillness!

After almost four hours (maybe an exaggeration), we anchored at the cove.  With the sweltering heat and hunger that troubled me and the rest of my company, I just wanted to close my eyes and say, "enough!"  But there was still the 188 steps to the cottage assigned to me and the restaurant on top of the hill!  The devil didn't still have enough of me...

The short days went by in Tugawe.  The place had good food.  There were many things to do.  There was so much to see and explore.  But most of all, it was all about the great company of priests in fellowship.  As great was the turbulence I felt before, was now the joy, calm and security I felt with the brotherhood I was in.  Stories - new and old, real or fabricated, short or long, sad and full of hopes - blended with jokes and laughter, and words that challenged and pushed our friendship into newer heights.  Photo-ops ensued, songs were sung and a newness of life in communion was sealed.  It was paradise, I figured!  

The roughness of the seas ended.  A portrait of still waters came about.  Peace had a new face in me.

Before we left Tugawe, I took some photos from my mobile phone.  I was amazed at the simplicity of this photo.  It spoke so eloquently of the same seas I ventured in coming to the resort.  It will be the same seas I will be sailing into as I leave the place.  Rough or calm?  Disturbing or peaceful?  Turbulent or still?  

It was a mere two hours on the very same trip going back.  The seas were plain, even quite boring at some point.  Some even were able to take some sleep.  There were lots of laughter and stories aboard.  After the trip, everyone was happy, content.  I felt good.  There was stillness...